Recently I heard about a woman charged with assault for slapping her Child Protective Services worker after her children were removed from her care. I know what you are thinking. Of course she should be charged. She probably beat her kids too. We have laws that protect people from being assaulted, and for good reason.
However, I have to wonder about the rest of the story. I was not privy to that information. Sometimes it is necessary for children to live away from their parents while alleged abuse or neglect is addressed. This isn’t new, but surely there is a way it might be done without becoming violent. “Look Sweetie, it’s like this,” the worker might say, “I know this is a really bad time for you and it sounds like you are under an unbelievable amount of stress. How can we best help you manage? The children’s needs must be met and yours. We are going to help you figure this out so things don’t get any worse before they get better. Don’t worry; this isn’t for good, just for now.” That doesn’t sound so bad. However, I suspect it went more like this. “I have picked up your children from school because my investigation indicates that you have abused them. They’ll be staying in a foster home until we go to court.” That’s pretty hard to respond to positively. Your children are gone and a court date is set. The mother likely reacted defensively and denied abuse. The social worker, feeling challenged, argued back and we know what happens next. I don’t know if this is how it went but I do know that too many times this kind of scenario occurs between people in authority and the people they are mandated to assist. Of course, the person who resorts to physical violence is charged and that is the way it should be, but what else is going on? That’s what we need to talk about if we are going to be part of a new paradigm, one of positive support.
However, I have to wonder about the rest of the story. I was not privy to that information. Sometimes it is necessary for children to live away from their parents while alleged abuse or neglect is addressed. This isn’t new, but surely there is a way it might be done without becoming violent. “Look Sweetie, it’s like this,” the worker might say, “I know this is a really bad time for you and it sounds like you are under an unbelievable amount of stress. How can we best help you manage? The children’s needs must be met and yours. We are going to help you figure this out so things don’t get any worse before they get better. Don’t worry; this isn’t for good, just for now.” That doesn’t sound so bad. However, I suspect it went more like this. “I have picked up your children from school because my investigation indicates that you have abused them. They’ll be staying in a foster home until we go to court.” That’s pretty hard to respond to positively. Your children are gone and a court date is set. The mother likely reacted defensively and denied abuse. The social worker, feeling challenged, argued back and we know what happens next. I don’t know if this is how it went but I do know that too many times this kind of scenario occurs between people in authority and the people they are mandated to assist. Of course, the person who resorts to physical violence is charged and that is the way it should be, but what else is going on? That’s what we need to talk about if we are going to be part of a new paradigm, one of positive support.
